Name: ______________________________ Date: ______________ Partner: ______________
Directions: Day 1: Parts 1 to 4 (friendship, boundaries, saying no, group chat rules). Day 2: Part 5 (the twelve scenario cards, printed once per class and cut apart by the teacher), Part 6 (the planning sheet), and Part 7 (the four-criterion checklist and your self-score). Exit card for Day 1 is at the end of Part 4.
Part 1: Friendship at this age
| One way | |
|---|---|
| Making a friend | |
| Keeping a friend | |
| Letting a friend drift, kindly |
Drifting is not a fight. It is what happens when two people grow.
This class is about what a good relationship of any kind looks like, how to draw a line, and how to say no and be heard. Questions about the body go to health class. Anything that worries you goes to the counselor (, room ______).
Part 2: Boundaries
A boundary is a line about what is okay with you. It is about you, not a rule for the other person.
The three-part boundary:
I am okay with ________________. I am not okay with ________________. If it happens, I will ________________.
Example: "I am okay with you borrowing my notes. I am not okay with you posting my notes in the chat. If it happens, I will stop sharing them."
Two traps: a boundary with no "I will" (nothing changes) and a boundary that is really a demand ("you have to stop being friends with them").
How to respect a boundary someone gives you: say "okay." Do not argue. Do not make them explain.
Scenario A. A friend keeps taking food off your tray at lunch without asking. Write a boundary.
I am okay with ______________________. I am not okay with ______________________. If it happens, I will ______________________.
Sentence frames in other languages:
| English | Turkish | Portuguese | Spanish |
|---|---|---|---|
| I am okay with ___. | ___ benim için sorun değil. | Eu não me importo com ___. | No me molesta ___. |
| I am not okay with ___. | ___ benim için sorun. | Eu não aceito ___. | No estoy de acuerdo con ___. |
| If it happens, I will ___. | Olursa, ___ yapacağım. | Se acontecer, eu vou ___. | Si pasa, voy a ___. |
| No, I am not doing that. | Hayır, bunu yapmayacağım. | Não, eu não vou fazer isso. | No, no voy a hacer eso. |
Part 3: Saying no and being heard
The three-part no: say it (a plain, short no), say why once (one reason, not a speech), offer what you will do instead.
Example: "No, I am not skipping practice. Coach benches anyone who skips. But I will come to the game after."
What makes a no hard to hear: laughing while you say it, saying "maybe" when you mean no, saying it to the floor.
Practice: Partner A pushes twice (only twice). Partner B says the three-part no. Partner A says "okay." Three each way.
| Push scenario | Was the no plain? | One reason? | Offered something? |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1. "Come on, let me copy your homework, just this once." | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| 2. "Skip the club meeting and come to my house." | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| 3. "Send me a picture of the test when you get it back." | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| 4. "Add my cousin to our chat, everyone will be fine with it." | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| 5. "Tell your parents you are at my house and go to the park instead." | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| 6. "Let me borrow your jacket, I will give it back next week." | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
A third push after two clear nos is what Lesson 3.12 called pressure.
Part 4: Group chat rules
| Rule | Why |
|---|---|
| 1. Nothing you would not say to the face. | |
| 2. No screenshots shared outside the chat. | |
| 3. Leaving the chat is allowed and is not an insult. | |
| 4. If someone is being put down, say something or tell an adult. Do not just watch. | |
| 5. Our class rule: |
Exit card, Day 1: 3-2-1
3 parts of a boundary: ______________ ______________ ______________
2 parts of a clear no: ______________ ______________
1 group chat rule I would add to a chat I am in: ______________________
Part 5: Performance Task scenario cards
(Teacher: print once per class, cut apart, draw face down on Day 2. Cards 1 to 6 name the conflict step. Cards 7 to 12 are the stretch; the pair chooses the step.)
1. The tray. Person A keeps taking food off Person B's tray. Person B opens with an I-message. Conflict step: agree on one step.
2. The borrowed thing. Person A borrowed Person B's calculator a week ago and has not returned it. Person B opens. Conflict step: find the shared want.
3. The seat. Person A saved a seat for Person B every day; today B sat with someone else without saying anything. Person A opens. Conflict step: cool down.
4. The game. Person A always wants to pick the game at recess. Person B opens. Conflict step: agree on one step.
5. The joke. Person A made a joke about Person B's accent. Person B opens. Conflict step: find the shared want.
6. The chat. Person A added someone to the chat without asking. Person B opens. Conflict step: agree on one step.
7. The rumor. Person A heard that Person B told someone a secret. Person A does not know if it is true. Person A opens. Conflict step: your choice.
8. The screenshot. Person A screenshotted something Person B wrote in the chat and sent it to another person. Person B opens. Conflict step: your choice.
9. The drift. Person A and Person B used to be best friends. Person A has new friends from a team and has not texted in two weeks. Person B opens. Conflict step: your choice.
10. The password. Person A wants Person B's phone password "so we can trust each other." Person B opens with a boundary. Conflict step: your choice.
11. The project. Person A did nothing on the group project and Person B did all of it. Person B opens. Conflict step: your choice.
12. The plan. Person A wants Person B to skip a family dinner for a hangout. Person B opens with a no. Conflict step: your choice.
Part 6: Planning sheet (Day 2)
Card number: ____ Person A: ______________ Person B: ______________ Who opens: ______
The I-message (four parts): I feel ______________ when ______________________________ because ______________________________, and I need ______________________________.
The listener's restate line: "So you are saying ______________________________."
The listener's question: "______________________________?"
The conflict step we will use out loud (cool down / find the shared want / agree on one step): ______________________
How it will sound: "______________________________"
The boundary or the no: "I am okay with ___. I am not okay with ___. If it happens, I will ___." or "No, ___. Because ___. But I will ___."
How the other person respects it: "______________________________"
Who says what, in order:
- ______________________________
- ______________________________
- ______________________________
- ______________________________
- ______________________________
- ______________________________
Part 7: The four-criterion checklist (teacher scores live; you self-score after)
| Criterion | 0 Missing | 1 Attempted, incomplete | 2 Done | 3 Done, and it changed what happened next |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. The I-message has all four parts and names a feeling | ||||
| 2. The listener uses eyes, body, restate, and ask | ||||
| 3. One conflict step is used out loud and fits the scenario | ||||
| 4. A boundary or a no is stated clearly and the other person respects it |
Total: ____ / 12
My self-score: 1: ____ 2: ____ 3: ____ 4: ____ Total: ____ / 12
The one criterion I would improve: ____ How: ________________________________________________
Stretch: The other person's shared want was ______________________. We found it / did not find it because ______________________.