# Handout 3.5: Self-Talk Swap

Name: ______________________________ Date: ______________ Period: ______

**Directions:** Four parts. Part 1 is the two definitions and the builders and denters. Part 2 is the filtered feed: the same photo twice, one real and one edited; find the changes. Part 3 is the swap: six negative self-talk lines, all general and printed here, rewritten as accurate positive lines. Not fake. Accurate. Part 4 is a preview of first impressions. The only line about you is on the back, and it is private. Nothing on this page talks about weight or dieting; body image is health class.

### Word bank in other languages

[Check with a native speaker before printing.]

| English | Turkish | Portuguese | Spanish |
|---|---|---|---|
| self | benlik, kendi | eu, si mesmo | uno mismo |
| image | imaj | imagem | imagen |
| to compare | karşılaştırmak | comparar | comparar |
| filter | filtre | filtro | filtro |
| real | gerçek | real | real |

## Part 1: Two definitions

**Self-concept** (a mirror facing in): what I believe is true about myself. ____________________________________

**Self-image** (a mirror facing out): how I think I look to other people. ______________________________________

**Self-esteem**: how I feel about both. _________________________________________________________________

What builds or dents them. One general example in each box (not about you).

| Builder or denter | What people say to me | What I do and how it goes | What I see (people, ads, feeds) | What I tell myself |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Builds it | | | | |
| Dents it | | | | |

Positive self-concept vs negative (copy two pairs from the slide):

| Positive | Negative |
|---|---|
| tries new things | avoids them |
| | |
| | |

## Part 2: The filtered feed

The same photo, twice, described in words.

**Photo A (unedited):** A person standing on a beach at noon. The sun is straight overhead, so there are shadows under the eyes and the light is flat and a little harsh. The sky is pale. Behind them, a crowd of other people, a lifeguard stand, and a trash can at the edge of the frame. The horizon tilts slightly to the left. Skin looks like skin: a few marks, some shine from the sun.

**Photo B (edited):** The same person, same spot. The light is now warm and golden, like sunset. The skin is smooth with no marks and no shine. The crowd and the lifeguard stand are blurred into soft shapes. The sky is deep blue. The horizon is straight. The trash can is gone; the frame ends just before it.

Find five changes. For each, write what feeling the change is aimed at giving the viewer.

Word bank: light, smooth, blur, crop, color, straighten.

| # | What the edit changed | What it wants the viewer to feel |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | | |
| 2 | | |
| 3 | | |
| 4 | | |
| 5 | | |

Grade 6 and IEP/504: three changes.

The edit took about twelve taps and two minutes. About thirty photos were taken to get this one. When someone compares their real Tuesday to Photo B, who wins? One sentence.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

## Part 3: The self-talk swap

The rule: not fake, accurate. "I am terrible at this" becomes "I got two of the six steps; I need the other four."

Sentence starter: "Instead of ___, I can say ___."

| # | Negative self-talk (general) | Accurate swap |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | "I am terrible at cooking." | |
| 2 | "Nobody wants me on their team." | |
| 3 | "I always mess up in front of people." | |
| 4 | "Everyone else's life looks better than mine." | |
| 5 | "I failed the quiz, so I am bad at this subject." | |
| 6 | "I said something dumb, so they all think I am dumb." | |

Grade 6 and IEP/504: swaps 1, 2, and 5.

Which one of your swaps would actually change what you do tomorrow? Number: ____ Why: __________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

**Private, on the back of this page, never collected:** one negative line you tell yourself, and its accurate swap.

## Part 4: First impressions preview

Two fictional people walk into the same interview for a volunteer job. The first walks in looking at a phone, sits down slumped, and does not look up until the interviewer says hello. The second walks in, smiles, looks the interviewer in the eye, says "Thanks for meeting with me," and sits up. Before a single question is asked, the interviewer has an impression of each.

| Channel | First person did | Second person did |
|---|---|---|
| Appearance (clean, put together) | | |
| Words (what they said) | | |
| Nonverbal (eyes, posture, phone) | | |
| Behavior (on time, follows through) | | |

Grade 6: one channel per person.

One thing the first person could change tomorrow: _______________________________________________________

The rule: a first impression takes ______ and can be changed with ______ over time.

Grade 8 stretch (Part 5): write the caption Photo B would probably get, and the caption Photo A deserves. Then two sentences: which person would you rather be friends with, and why?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

## Closure card (index card)

**Private side (you keep it):** one negative line and its swap.

**Public side (turned in):** 3 factors that build self-concept; 2 things an edit changes in a photo; 1 channel you project an impression through.

* * *

## Teacher key

**Part 1:** self-concept, what I believe about myself; self-image, how I think I look to others; self-esteem, how I feel about both. Builders: a compliment that is specific, a lab that worked, seeing someone like you succeed, "not yet." Denters: a put-down, a test that went badly with no plan, a feed of edited lives, "never." Positive vs negative pairs from the slide: tries new things vs avoids them; says "not yet" vs "never"; takes a compliment vs argues with it.

**Part 2, the five changes:** (1) light warmed and softened (feel: calm, beautiful); (2) skin smoothed, shine removed (feel: this person is flawless; you are not); (3) crowd and stand blurred (feel: this person is alone in paradise); (4) sky boosted, horizon straightened (feel: perfect, planned); (5) trash can cropped out (feel: nothing ugly exists here). Who wins: nobody real; the comparison is against a two-minute edit of a one-in-thirty photo.

**Part 3, sample swaps (accept any accurate, specific rewrite; reject fake positives like "I am the best cook"):** 1, "My mug cake worked; my eggs did not; I need to practice heat." 2, "Two people picked me last week." 3, "I messed up the skit line; I nailed the do now." 4, "I am comparing my whole day to their best two minutes." 5, "I failed one quiz; there is a retake and I know which part I missed." 6, "One sentence does not make a person; nobody remembers it but me."

**Part 4:** first person, phone out (nonverbal), no greeting (words), slumped (nonverbal), late to engage (behavior); second person, greeting and thanks (words), eye contact and posture (nonverbal), on time and ready (behavior); appearance, neither is described, which is the point: appearance is clean and put together, not fancy. The rule: seconds; actions.